day 40

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Finally the end of my day. I’m eating dinner and it’s delicious! Spinach and artichoke grilled cheese sandwiches and it’s so gooood.

Today was boring. It started out intense because now that the weather is nice my son wants to go outside a lot and today he just woke up and did. I almost had a heart attack though cause he wasnt inside when I woke up. I did paint most of my dining room chairs which was nice . Meanwhile I was trying to watch tv and I picked Empire on Hulu and it’s ok. I just need background noise while I do housework. Used my Morphe warm palette and change my eyeshadow which I never do. I took a photo, but you can’t really see anything in it.

We had a volleybay tournament today at the local ymca and it was irritating as usual.  It’s a co-Ed league and one of our girls couldn’t come and no one really knew so we had three guys and two girls and they made us play with 4 people instead of 5. The team we were playing was super good so we lost pretty fast. I guess there’s a rivallry with the team and history so they play hard, we lose every time we play them so it is alright. Since we lost we had to play again and that team let us play with three guys and two girls. It really doesn’t make a difference because a girl still had to hit the ball if two guys do, but whatever. The first game our five player set up was bad and we lost a lot of points on the serve, the second two games we fixed it and won by quite a bit. I played well, I served well and I am happy. Someone even tried to throw me off my game cause my serves were so good.

Tomorrow my boyfriend goes to his weekend bachelor party in Kansas City for his friend. I talked him into allowing me to try my Luna mini on him and he said yes. I happily took the opportunity to perform a full facial on him while I watch Grey’s Anatomy. I will miss him while he’s gone, but I really hope he likes my Luna mini 😊

Day 39

Id die for a nap everyday. Time set aside each day to just sleep when I’m tired? Sign me up! But to my son it’s a completely different story, it’s a punishment in his head. I try to reason with him and let him know the only time he is missing anything fun from the day is when he refuses to nap, but since he’s 4 that obviously doesn’t work. Writing everyday will be hard for me to do, it’s much like talking to myself isn’t it? But it’s got to be more beneficial than me thinking all of the time.

Today’s project is tackling the giant mountain of laundry head on! See, while transitioning to my new life my old one seemed to get a little hectic. While I worked in the city I would stop by my apartment and grab a load of my stuff, I basically stopped living there months before my lease ended and we were staying with my boyfriend at his tiny house. I didn’t really do any laundry during this time period. I also didn’t while we were moving. I tried to make sure all our clothes were clean before I moved them, but there were just so many!!  Basically, everything got mixed together and I was left with no choice but to start completely over. Except our dryer is broken. Now that we live ten miles out of “town”, (quotations cause said town is 500 people), it’s a pain drying it at the laundromat, but I’m still very thankful they at least have one. For weeks I’ve been pre washing at home and bulk drying. But, sometimes I just let it sit and I’m ending that today. I think I will feel way better after we officially get moved in.

Yesterday was the first day in a while that we could actually sit outside, it was nice, it felt like home for once. A spring day when I could just feel that summer was coming and school was almost out which is what it reminded me of. My son likes being outside quite a lot, but hates it being hot. Today it is a little bit chillier, but I’m looking forward to another nice family evening hopefully!

I have  been online shopping and it makes me happy. I’m just purchasing the list I’ve acquired since not being able to afford anything. As an esthetician, skin care is important to me, I have been very hard on my skin and am making an effort to treat it better! With money, came the time to change out my clarisonic brushes and I decided to fight the cheap person inside me and purchase a Luna mini! I love it so far, my son said my skin feels perfect and it’s only been a day! I’ll re update later but as of now I can’t stop touching my softer than a baby’s bum face. Waiting for packages makes me feel like I have a purpose. I signed up for Netflix DVDs and it’s been a life saver. I get so happy seeing my new movie in the mail! I just binge watched the rest of glee and am officially caught up. Back to the grind now as I used to call it. Need to finish my laundry 😉

day 38

Stay at home mom day 38. Days 1-37 were to depressing to write about and I don’t want to remember this phase of my life-like that because it’s transitioning. Stay at home moms are often forgotten about by even stay at home moms themselves. I personally hated going to work everyday. I can’t even think of a job I want to do except being a stay at home mom. So who knew that after achieving my dreams; it could be so hard.  Feeling lonely isn’t a term I like to just throw around in the open, however, that’s the best way to describe it. I get to stay home with my wonderful son, I don’t have to work, I have all day to get done what I would have had to do anyway, and I can work in my sweatpants which is always a bonus, but yes it is lonely. I did move from the city to a farm which probably didn’t help, and I did go from a full on single parent to relying on someone else to pay for me and my child, which has been a battle within myself. the biggest battle I’ve faced has been myself and my goals. There goes me getting in the way of me again. No one ever told me life was full of one problem after another.  When I found out I was pregnant at 19 my world stopped, it changed, I had no idea what I was going to do but I knew it was something.  I vowed to take care of my son and love him to death. I continued going to school, I worked full-time and I raised him and we have the best relationship and I succeeded. But now I’m 24 without any goals.  Perfect boyfriend, check, bachelors degree, check, stay at home mom career, check. Is my life over? No, but it feels that way a little bit with the 80 hours a week of alone time lol.

I love talking, it’s a defense mechanism I picked up throughout life. Just talk, if you never shut up, people never have anything to wonder, therefore, they don’t ask anything and that’s how I pick and choose what everyone knows about me. I don’t have much to talk about anymore is the problem. My real life problems are equivalent to a four-year olds lol. I find this to be difficult when i try to socialize. I avoided it before, but I have nothing to talk about now.

We went to Wal-Mart to get hangers and horseradish. It’s a thirty minute drive of nothing. I can’t wait until it’s summer so I can enjoy this fresh air I moved to.